oz-mazing!

haha okay not really....

so im up north for work and the "man" has restricted my internet access. it wont let me upload any of my cool videos or pictures that i've taken (what a gyp! i blame all the stupid miners looking up too much porn...also, my spell checker is also broke-d so please forgive any spelling errors). so all i'm left with is a text-y post. and i sat around figuring what would be entertaining for a text-y post and reckoned that ya'll would probably dig more aussie-isms. i've been keeping a list on my phone of things that i found interesting, amusing, and downright hilarous. without further ado:

• higgly piggly (ˌhi-gəl-ē-ˈpi-gəl-ē) i heard my co-worker use it instead of willy nilly. i mightve choked on the water i was drinking. used in a sentence:"we've got to go to the storidge containa to orhganize the boxes, someones put them een all higgly piggly". willy nilly is a wonky enough saying, but i think higgly piggly takes the cake (speaking of cake, i want some....)

• capsicum. if you read that and wondered wtf i was talking about, its what aussies call bell peppers. pretty fancy name for a plain ole pepper. well, there must be something special about peppers over here cause to buy 3 at the grocery store will cost you about $10. i hope you just said "DAMN" out loud, because thats what i did in the store the first time i saw the price.

• oregano. yep the seasoning. its pronounced 'oh-reh-ghan-o' here. kinda like the state oregan, but say it with a canadian accent and you've got it. i was in the middle of a convo and didnt know what they were talking about, and then a little lightbulb appeared over my head and i chimed in, "you mean oregano? (but read it how we pronounce it)" and everyone looked at me and laughed. so i guess pronunciation can be funny both ways. but the aussie way is funnier haha :)

• how ya going? (ive learned a few things with regard to this one)
• number one: its not really a question, but rather, a greeting. so if you find yourself in australia and someone asks you this, just respond with a simple "hi". mostly because they arent really asking how youre doing, and secondly, because they'll have kept walking after saying it to you and will be halfway down the street by the time you blurt out a half-assed response (yes i know this from awkward experience haha)
• keeping with aussie tradition, it can be shortened. so far i've heard:
• (mumble)...ya going?
• (mumble)..yagng?
• (mumbling and garbled noises that sorta sound like 'how ya going' but without any actual words being said)

• boot and bonnet. nope, im not talking about the things that go on your feet or on your head. its what they call the trunk and hood of your car. i thought only folks from jolly ole england said this, but since australia is part of the commonwealth, i guess they say it too. wish i could say that when people chuck it into conversations that i'm cool and go with the flow. but alas, being a silly american i get a small smile and chuckle a bit when someone asks me to pop the bonnet.

• knob. this is a slang word used for....er, um.... well its definitly not something that belongs on a door. men have them?....
• if you didnt catch my drift, look it up on urban dictionary or just skip to my next aussie bamboozlement below

• thongs. get your mind out of the gutter. im not talking about the string underwear haha. its what they call flip-flops here. if you call them flip-flops you get weird looks from the locals.

• porta-loo. yep. its the aussie word for a porta-potty. and theyre FANTASTIC! i never thought id be one to rave about a portable toilet, but hot damn, these are pretty neat. id go as far as saying they are the rolls royce of portable toilets.
• first, they're quite roomy. i'd say i could could comfortably fit three average sized girls in one.
• secondly, they flush! yes, flush. no scary blue green water that may or may not smurf you. once business is "concluded" (lol) there is a fun handle that you pump and everything magically disappears.
• third, you can WASH your hands. no janky hand sanitizer, im talking soap and water. how cool is that? aussies are sanitation geniuses haha 

• trollys. nope not the san francisco public transport. its what aussies call shopping carts. again, probably the whole british commonwealth thing. either way, i still giggle when i hear someone call it a trolly.

• ta. its used in lieu of cheers, as a way of saying thanks. like if i held a door open for someone, they'd likely reply "ta!". it took me a really long time to work this one out. i could never tell if they were mumbling and i wasnt hearing everything that was being said, or if i was just retarded and didnt understand them. nope, they really were just saying "ta" and now that i know what it means, im spreading the word lol

• bikkie. quick! what was the first thing you thought of? i got five bucks that says you didnt think biscuit. which is what a bikkie is. and im talking cookie, not the fluffy buttery things you get at kfc

• partner. its the term aussies use to refer to your significant other. again, i was really confused until i figured this out. in america, when anyone says 'partner' in that context, its usually in reference to a gay couple (no judgement). like if i was talking about ellen degeneres, i'd say "her partner portia de rossi.....". welp, in ausralia it goes for everyone. my boyfriend is my partner, her husband is her partner etc. once i worked this all out it made loads of sense. but for awhile there i thought heaps of people were in same sex relationships. lol woops?

• billy. if you thought a person, you thought wrong. the boys the other day were talking about "billy tea" and i had to ask, wtf is billy tea? turns out its tea that you cook in a dinky tin/aluminum can with a handle. still confused i went to wikipedia for more info. here is what i got:
• It is commonly accepted that the term "billycan" is derived from the large cans used for transporting bouilli or bully beef on Australia-bound ships or during exploration of the outback, which after use were modified for boiling water over a fire.
• In Australia, the billy has come to symbolise the spirit of exploration of the outback. To boil the billy most often means to make tea. "Billy Tea" is the name of a popular brand of tea long sold in Australian grocers and supermarkets.

who knew? this girl does now :)

• putting "o" at the end of a word. i think i mightve touched on this before, but it still kills me how words are shortened here. you can pretty much shorten anything by sticking an "o" at the end of it. registration is reg-o, breathalizer is breth-o, bottle shops are bottle-o's etc. im going to start a jamie-fication of the australian language and just start making up my own words that end in "o" and see how people-o react-o (haha-o) (lol)....-o.......(okay i'll stop)

• bloody. yes the curse word! its used quite frequently here and i LOVE it! feels like i time traveled to england, or to the 1800s. i wish i could use it and not sound like a douche-bag. sadly, i dont think its possible for americans. just have to stick to the good ole basics: shit, damn, and hell. or if youre my grandma thompson, combine them all into one master curse word: shitdamnhell! haha, love you grams

• rockmellon. if you were hoping that some sort of new amazing fruit had been discovered, im going to burst your bubble and tell you that its just aussie terminology for cantaloupe. kinda sounds more badass than just regular ole cantaloupe tho. "yo dawg, gimme some rockmellon" haha (im a dork and its been a long day lol)

• nappies. the term for lots of small naps! haha, just messing with you. its what they call diapers here. nappies. put your baby in a nappy. savvy?

• up the duff. heard this gem this morning. its another term for being pregnant or knocked-up. sounds way dirtier than it is doesnt it? now this is a term that i can definitely slide into casual conversation. just have to wait till someone i know is up the duff.....

anyhoo....thats all i have for now. hope i didnt offend too any aussies, and hope i entertained/educated some of you at home :)

g'day

xoxo